Out Of My Grasp
by Sato-Yu
Summary: She didn't want to believe that she loved him. Didn't want to believe it. She could have fallen for Toushirou, or even had a chance with Aizen… But she had to fall for a man that she knew was out of her grasp. MomoXRenji. Rated M for the 2nd Chapter.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach in any way. Nope. Tite Kubo owns all of the awesome Bleach characters! **

She didn't want to believe that she loved him. Didn't want to believe it. She could have fallen for Toushirou, or even had a chance with Aizen… But she had to fall for a man that she knew was out of her grasp. She loved him with all of her heart. She wanted no one but him. Him and him alone. When she saw other women around him, jealously would flare though her veins. She wanted nothing more then to be with him forever. To be by his side through everything, and anything. But, she knew she could never be with him.

"Hinamori-fukutaichou!"

Hinamori was snapped from her depressed state of being by a familiar voice. "Ah, sorry Rangiku-san… I was… Thinking about something…" She trailed off. "So, what was it you needed?"

Rangiku looked at her with worry. "Are you sure your okay Hinamori-fukutaichou? You look kinda pale…" Matsumoto moved towards her, and placed a hand on Momo's forehead.

"Ah! Rangiku-san! Don't worry about me! Im fine! Just a little tired is all… I just haven't been sleeping well these last few nights." Momo politely pulled Matsumoto's hand away from her clammy forehead. "Please don't worry. I'm fine. So what is it that you needed to tell me?"

Matsumoto jolted upright. "Oh yeah!" Matsumoto removed a piece of paper from her shihakushou and unrolled it. "'Hinamori Momo shall report to the squad five barracks immediately. This is the report from Yamamoto-tachiou, first company of the 13 companies. That is all'" Matsumoto re-rolled the paper, and replaced it in her shihakushou. She looked at Momo with worried eyes once again. "Hinamori-fukutaichou… Do you know what's going on?" Momo returned her gaze with equally worried eyes.

"I…I have no idea what's going on…" Momo looked past her, towards the fifth companies barracks. From where she was sitting, she could see nothing wrong at all. Her uneasiness rose. Something was wrong; she just didn't know what it was. Momo rose from her seat, bowing slightly to Matsumoto. She, in return, bowed to Momo. Momo took off towards her companies barracks, at a slow jog. Matsumoto watched her go, sighing slightly as she did.

—

The red-haired shinigami awoke with a start, looking around the room in confusion. The only source of light was coming in from a half covered window, which shone directly into his face. He looked down, only to be greeted with a sticky mess. He swore under his breath and ran his hands through his sweaty hair. What had that girl done to him? Her eyes, her laugh, her smile… Everything had him falling in love with a girl he couldn't hold. There were no real words to describe how she made him feel. He would toss and turn every night, trying to sleep, but failing miserably. That girl would invade his dreams, and wouldn't leave till the morning. Renji wanted her in the worst way, but didn't dare with Toushirou-Taichou watching both her and his every move. Renji uttered a defeated sigh and got out of bed.

He walked down his hallway, still with his boxers full of last nights dream. He blindly walked into his bathroom, and removed the soiled boxers, throwing them behind the toilet lazily. He would take care of them after a cold shower. He turned the water on, and waited for the perfect temperature. After waiting for what seemed forever, it was perfect. He stepped in, running his face under the stream. Grabbing the bottle of shampoo, he squirted some into his palm and washed his dirty hair, running his hands through to make sure it was clean completely. Rinsing his hair, he couldn't help himself from thinking about what she would look like with water running down from her hair. He started to grow hard from that small thought alone.

Lately, he had been getting a lot worse. Just seeing the girl in the court yard reading, gave him an erection. Jacking off held him off for a while, but the need for more was getting way out of hand. Looking down at the sight greeting him, he sighed and turned the water colder and continued washing.

—

Momo entered the squad five barracks, only to be greeted by Toushirou.

"Shiro-chan! What are you doing here?" She smiled at him sweetly, bouncing up to him. "I got a letter from Yamamoto-Taichou to come here as soon as possible… Do you know what's going on?" She looked at him with her large innocent eyes. He blushed and looked at the floor.

"N-no Momo… It wasn't from Yamamoto-Taichou… I wrote that, and I gave it to Matsumoto to give to you.. I wanted to talk to you about something… We both know everything about each other… Right?" He was still looking at something interesting in the floor as he said this.

Momo smiled, "Of course Shiro-Chan!"

Toushirou smiled slightly, a blush still apparent on his face. "Well… There is one thing that you don't know about me…" Momo looked puzzled at this.

"What is it Shiro-chan! Tell me! I want to know!" She jumped up and down like a child. Toushirou laughed inwardly at how cute she was.

"Momo… I… I love you…" Toushirou heard her take a large intake of air.

"S-shiro-chan…" She felt her heart beat speed up. '_W-what? Shiro-chan… He.. He loves me?...But… we're childhood friends.. This doesn't feel right… I've never thought about Shiro-chan like that…'_

Toshirou saw the look on her face, the confusion and shock evident on her flushed face. Toshirou turned his head away from Momo, and looked at the faded brown floor. "Momo…"

"Shiro-Chan…" came Momo's small reply, barely audible. She looked up to see the white haired captain staring down at the floor. "I… I do love you… But… I'm not IN love with you… I'm sorry…" and with that, Momo turned slowly and left Toshirou to himself.

Toshirou saw her walk away. He saw her leaving. But he couldn't move. It was almost like his limbs where frozen in place. Oh, how he wanted to run after her, grab her, and hold her tight. But something inside of him kept him rooted to the spot. He felt water on him.. warm water running down his cheeks. It took him a full minute to realize that the water running down his cheeks, were his own tears. He was crying. He shook his head slightly and attempted to wipe them away. _'What am I doing… A captain… Crying…' _And with that, Hitsugaiya Toushirou crumpled to the floor.

Renji walked down the hallway, a towel tied around his waist. He entered his room and tossed the towel aside, while grabbing a clean pair of boxers. He glanced around his room, noting how dirty and dusty everything was. _If I ever brought a girl home… They would never want to stay here… _He shook his head and continued to get dressed.

The red haired Shinigami sheltered his eyes as he walked outside, seeing as it was another bright and sunny day in the Sereite. Renji began his trek to the fifth companies barracks, hoping Kuchiki-taichou didn't have a mound full of paper work for him today. He stuck his hands in the pockets of his pants, and looked up at the sky. Renji sighed loudly and started counting the number of clouds in the sky. _One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Sev- OUCH! _ Next thing Renji knew, he was falling backwards, stumbling to keep his balance.

"What the hell?" Renji finally said after he regained his posture.

"AH! I'm sorry Abarai-Fukutaichou!"

Renji looked up to see a tiny figure bowing furiously in front of him. His face slightly blushed as turned his head from Momo. "S'okay…" Momo looked up at him with a wide smile and her eyes closed.

Renji looked back her. What he saw was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. Momo's hair gleamed in the morning sun, while her adorable smile made his heart melt. He felt so much love for that girl that he didn't even know where to start to describe it. The dark haired girl opened her eyes, and noticed Renji staring at her.

"Abarai-kun… Are you feeling aright?" Momo's head turned to the side, her bangs moving along with her head. Renji felt his face start to burn red and his pants start to tighten. He quickly turned away from Momo.

"F-fine. Don't worry about me Hinamori-fukutaichou. Go about your business." Renji walked past Momo, feeling slightly bad for snapping at her in such a manner. He heard her begin to walk behind him, wishing all the while he could have just told her the truth. Sighing heavily, he finished his walk to the squad five barracks. Nodding to the guards outside, he walked past them into the cool dark confines of Kuchiki Byakuya's chambers. "Kuchiki-taichou. I'm here. Anything that needs to be done?"

Byakuya simply looked up from his paperwork to give Renji a quick look over. He then grunted and threw a manilla colored folder at Renji, barely giving him a second glance. "Deliver that to squad 5 immediately Renji. It is of utmost importance that it reaches Aizen…." Renji simply looked at the envelope, then at Byakuya, then back at the envelope. With a sigh, he turned on his heel and went back the way he came in.

Aizen was sitting at his desk simply writing small notes to himself. The small tea light burned softly next to him, giving off just a small amount of light in the small dark room. There came a soft tap on Aizen's door. He set down his writing pencil, and stood up quickly.

"Who is it?" he asked, while slowly making his way to the door. An answer from the other side made it clear.

"Aizen –tachichou. It's Abarai Renji of 5th company, here to deliver an important envelope to you from my captain." Renji heard Aizen approach the door as he kept his formal bow before the captains door. He felt the door open and the next thing he knew, he looked up to see Momo standing there, her eyes large and beautiful. "M-momo! I… I have a message for Aizen-Taichou! If you could please give it to him…" Renji looked away with a very faint blush on his face. _Damnit! What is It about this girl that makes me fall so crazy in love with her! _Renji felt the envelope being pulled from his grasp. He looked up to see Momo smiling at him with the goofy smile plastered on her face.

"Yes Abarai-kun!" She smiled wider and closed her eyes, allowing Renji to soak up the warmth of her beautiful glow.

"M-Momo-chan.." The words were out of his mouth before he could take them back. He covered his mouth and looked up, but only for a second before realizing Momo was looking right at him with a questioning look. He glanced away, hoping she hadn't seen his red cheeks.

"Yes… Did you want something… Abarai-kun?" Momo squatted down to his level, attempting to look him in the eyes. She tilted her head once again, making Renji just want to hold her in his arms.

"M-Momo-chan… Could we maybe talk in private.. For only a moment or so.. I don't want to waste your time… I would be honored if you accepted…" he trailed off, hoping for a response.

"Of course! Let me just give this envelope to Aizen-Taichou!" Momo turned around with a little hop and speed walked across the tatami flooring. He heard her slide open a door, and murmur something to Aizen. As fast as she had gone, she was back in front of him with a smile that could light up the darkest of nights. "So, what is it you wanted to talk about Abarai-kun?"

Renji slowly got up from his kneeling position and scratched the back of his head. "Do… Do you think that we could walk and talk?" He looked over at Momo, seeing a confused look on her perfect face.

"Ah… Sure Abarai-Kun." She jumped off the small porch, and wrapped her arms behind her back. She looked back at him. "Well?" she giggled and dashed ahead.

Her playfulness filled his heart with love. He felt so light. Like nothing in the world could ruin that moment. He smiled and walked towards her, wishing he could grasp her hand and hold her. He finally caught up to her and looked down at her. She was looking straight ahead, focusing on the walkway in front of her. He wished how he could roll over, and hold her close to his chest. He wanted to drape his arms around her fragile body and protect her from anything that would try to harm her. He wanted to feel her in his arms… have that feeling that she was all his, only his… and be happy knowing that she belonged to only him.

"Momo-chan… There is something I have wanted to tell you for a long time…" he looked at her. She had stopped walking and had turned to look at him. "Momo… How I feel about you… The thought of describing that truly couldn't be any harder. No words come close to how you make me feel. Every day I know I'm falling more and deeply in love with you… I roll around restlessly at night thinking of you, waiting in desperation that my door bell will ring and it will be you… I could never begin to imagine a life without you… You bring me to overcome and challenge… You make my sun rise and the moon fall. I've never felt the same way as I do with you… You give me meaning… Hinamori-kun…"

Momo didn't know what to say. No one had ever said such beautiful things to her in such a loving way. She felt her face warm as the blush crept up and across her face. She looked up at the tall red head standing in front of her. "Abarai-kun… That was the most beautiful thing that anyone has ever said to me…" She paused for a moment, thinking of how to phrase her next set of words.

Renji stared down at the small black haired girl in front of him. She was everything he had ever wanted, and all he ever needed. She was perfect. He had spilt his heart, making him look like a huge fool in front of the girl he loved with all his heart and more. Momo's small voice brought him back from his thoughts.

"Abarai-kun… I too have feelings for you…" She trailed off, embarrassed at her open statement.

Renji stared in amazement. This girl that he had been in love with for years, returned his feelings. He felt his stomach do a flip, and his knees going weak under his body. He slowly closed the gap between him and Momo, pulling her tiny and fragile frame into his strong and muscular body.


End file.
